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Published 11.05.2014 | Author : admin | Category : What Do Women Want In A Man

I went to a great workshop the other night called Putting the Fun & Romance Back into your Marriage.
My dad has always told us that the best way to show love to your children, is to love their mother. As a mom, it is really easy to focus on my kids (who are very demanding of my time and attention), but at the end of a long day sometimes the last thing I want to do is then shift gears to talk to anyone else- even if that other person is my spouse. The workshop was a great reminder of things that I can (and should) be doing daily to make my marriage thrive.
Spending time with your spouse doesn't mean you have to go out or spend money, but it does mean that you plan specific things to do together that allow you to build on your relationship as a couple.
I want my kids to have amazing marriages and I want them to be successful in their relationships with friends. PS- Do you think my husband is going to kill me for posting this photo of us at the top of this post? Despite the push for variety, we’ve been left with few messages in the mainstream media that reflect real representations and acceptance of women of substance. Beyonce, Kim Kardashian, and Jennifer Lopez have been the most famous poster-women of the “curvy” ideal.
When we look at photos of women are highlighted as the curvy alternative, are they really representing a huge rebellion against mainstream beauty and body ideals?
In fact, a study referenced in The Independent found only 8% of women fit the hourglass figure. While it’s important to address the overwhelming push for thinness purported by our media, the current curvy ideal can also bring up feelings of inadequacy. Women in the US and UK are increasingly lining up for breast enhancement procedures because we are told only certain shapes of fat are sexy. In Hollywood and mainstream media, being anything over 110 pounds causes a flurry of comments, blog posts, and headlines. I also think that many of these reminders allow us as parents to help teach our children so many important things- such an unselfishness, kindness, and dedication. As a couple I think it is awesome if you can start over with a clean slate each day and recommit yourself to making your marriage fabulous. Sit down with your spouse and ask, "What can I do for you to make you feel loved?" Have your spouse ask you the same question. Be a role model for your children of the type of partner they have the potential to become. If everyone tries to give 50% in marriage, but someone fails on that again and again, then you're never at 100%. After decades of being bombarded with images of extremely thin models and starving ourselves to fit the waif-mold many women and organizations–such as the author of Fat!So?, Marilyn Wann, and movements like The Body is Not an Apology, have worked to bring about size and fat-acceptance. True, these celebrities carry more weight on their bodies, but only in socially acceptable places.


The majority of us are either top-heavy, pear-shaped, or ironically, rectangular; 47% of women are actually shaped the opposite of curvy, with a waist less than nine inches smaller than their hips or bust.
Christina Hendricks of Mad Men has said, “Anytime someone talks about your figure constantly, you get nervous, you get really self-conscious. Butt lifts and implants have also seen a jump, with some women unfortunately losing their lives in the chase for the perfect voluptuous figure. If women, who look like the closest living thing to the Barbie ideal, are continuously portrayed as body outlaws, what does that say for the rest of us? Women in the spotlight who are curvier rock for broadening the body acceptance conversation. I would love to hear your tips regarding how you work to make your marriage thrive in the comments below, so definitely share them! This requires letting go of grudges and forgiving and forgetting (and not bringing up sore subjects over and over again).
I think there are definitely seasons of life when we are busier or more tired as parents, so scheduling a date is hard. Everyone has a different love language, so talking with your spouse about this can't help but yield positive results.
I notice that when I focus on the positive things my spouse does, I am happier, and then my kids are happier too. On Saturday night we went on an amazing date that my friend created and it was such a fun change from the norm. My husband knows this and so we usually spend time together doing dishes on Sunday nights (when kids are occupied or asleep). Sometimes as a spouse I am selfish of my "alone" time or even silly things (like my treats), because I get tired of sharing with just one more person. One thing that our workshop mentioned is that marital problems are sometimes signals that a couple needs to learn new skills to create a happy relationship. We’ve fought to see a wider variety of body types in the media, and to accept that some women are fatter, flatter, and shaped in innumerable ways, but have we actually made progress?
Although curvy celebrities are quoted saying loud and proud that they have curves and have nothing to be ashamed of, their fat stays in all the “right”places–flat stomachs, long necks, no sags, and no visible stretch marks, just a fuller figure than the overly-thin models, singers, and movie stars before them.
Where are the celebrities and spokespeople openly admiring their round bellies, small hips, cellulite, and sags? If women who have a more average, fatter body type are rarely shown as sexy (if they are shown at all), how does that affect our ability to appreciate our own bodies? However, the depiction of what it means to be beautiful still leaves much to be desired, and we must stop pretending that our modern understanding of “curves” is revolutionary and inclusive. I actually love routine, but I also think the idea of trying new things together helps keep things fun. Life has been going, going, going with lots of work travel for my husband so connecting has been challenging to say the least.


Is the promotion of curves a legitimate backlash against an industry with a narrow and thin definition of beauty?
The few larger women, who have typical rectangular or apple body types, such as Gabby Sidibe of Precious, Melissa McCarthy from Bridesmaids, and Shannon Beiste from Glee are rarely pictured or portrayed as sexy, desirable, or even feminine.
If we have a bad day, we talk about how tomorrow we're going to have a do-over and make things better the next day. We really have a good time catching up with one another and then we start off the new week with a clean kitchen.
My husband has been amazingly unselfish this year and has watched our kids while I've gone on three different girls trips. There are some weeks when we just go through the motions and are like passing ships in the night with busy schedules.
Or is the promotion of curves yet another unattainable standard under the guises of caring about women’s self-esteem, health, and body image? We can curve out at our waists, arms, legs, as well as our butts and chest, or we might not curve much at all.  Simply increasing the acceptable inch limit for boobs and hips, and calling it an alternative for the thin ideal, does no one justice. I have to resist the urge to bring up past events and instead focus on the positive things ahead! My favorite thing to do with my husband is to sit at the kitchen table while he makes us a late night treat- carmelitas or peanut butter bars. Working together as a couple also reminds me how important it is for us to work together with our kids. Leaving nice notes in shoes, buying each other special treats, or even just sending a sweet text during the day are simple ways to still be nurturing your relationship during those times that are crazy or tough!
One thing I try to do is to always kiss my husband before we go to sleep, when we wake up and when one of us is leaving the house. I am always amazed at how much better of a parenting team we are when we have 1:1 time together to just have fun together (and eat our treats).
Help can come from a therapist, another couple you trust, supportive parents, or other resources like marriage classes and books. We always hug, especially in front of the children, which is important especially when there might not be a lot of energy and time for much more than that gesture!
I think this teaches our kids that each member of our family is important and deserves special attention.
Recognizing that you need help and being willing to ask for it is a great skill to demonstrate to your kids.



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