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Published 11.02.2015 | Author : admin | Category : Very Irresistible For Men

When I saw these photos in my timeline this morning, shared by our awesome partner site Mamamia in Australia, I stopped in my tracks. Want the best of The Good Men Project posts sent to you by email? Join our mailing list here.
Interesting that I, along with a lot of other people, immediately reacted to the photos and to the word “dude” without reading much else in the article.
Then, when I read more carefully, I saw something that is much more revealing about gender stereotypes than pictures of semi-nude people are. We have a *very* long way to go before male masturbation and female masturbation get treated with the same level of respect or acceptance. Since the discussion about appropriate terms seems to have taken off on this, I just want to add a little different perspective. The other thing, as many pointed out, is that there are huge regional differences about this. For example, I’ve never heard anyone use the word “dude” when talking about how intelligent or accomplished a man is, usually the opposite.
What I appreciate about this switcheroo is that it is much more specific than some of the others I’ve seen out there. Dude = buckaroo, in meaning young cowboy , in most cases its an informal way of addressing a young man in the old days it was used to refer to inexperienced cowboys by older wiser or higher status males towards the younger ones , hence the negative connotation . I think one problem guys are having with this conversation around the word dude is that men have come out and said that their is a problem with this word when referring to men. You *can* maybe, in the right context and with the right tone, use it in a couple of those ways.
I find it hilarious that when it’s men complaining about gendered word usage, suddenly the exact same rationalisations crawl out of the woodwork. People posing sexuality is not objectifying unless you have some seriously warped views of other people.
Gossip magazines with paparazzi photos are objectifying, they completely ignore the person’s desires for privacy and make a buck without their consent. I think people too often assume female sexuality being displayed is automatically objectifying, a few facebook comments seem to be focusing on objectification.
Well, I don’t immediately wonder what her opinion on Proust is, but then again, I doubt most women ogling a guy do either.
To give more extreme examples, quite a few well-known porn actresses seem like pretty smart cookies – Stoya springs to mind. I’d love to get an example of oversexualisation without objectification, because I am having real trouble imagining it. An example of objectification would be the female athletes whom wear tight outfits having their photos posted without their consent, similar to creepshots. The article was discussing her sex life, she CHOSE to be in the photos and wanted to be photographed in a sexually suggestive manner. So she is being treated ethically, she has innate value and rights on an article about her which she chose to be in.
I do not believe and never will believe that simply showing sexuality makes someone an object of desire, because I have this apparently rare ability to realize it’s a human being.
People that touch someone sexually against their consent or rape them are objectifying the other person.


I find it absolutely sickening that others are seeing these women as objects even in these poses. Posted on February 11th, 2013 By Scott Milnes in Circle of Love Coaching™ Program with 2 comments. I have always found it fascinating how we as a nation will, in my opinion, interchange words into places they clearly don’t belong.  It’s as if we come up with several words for the same definition. For example, after a person has gone through an extensive amount of education, hands-on training, and passed a litany of exams, he or she would be given the title of pilot and be given a pilots’ license. The implication is that they have demonstrated the skill and can be trusted with an aircraft.  And while most of us may not be pilots, I think we can all remember learning to drive a car, taking the exam, and the rush of freedom we felt when we first got our drivers license. So, from those two examples, we can assume that when someone receives a license, they are qualified for the job at hand.  So far, so good- that makes sense. I don’t know about you, but the next time I get on an airplane, I want my pilot to have a license- not just a permit! Truth is, they’ve never taken class, attended a workshop, or worked one-on-one with a coach or counselor.  However, with some brief paperwork and a few bucks, they’ve got a marriage license. I realize that I’m throwing around semantics here, but my goal is to really get people to stop and ask:  Am I truly qualified to go through with this project? In a perfect world (wow, I’m really stretching now), when a couple applied for a marriage license, there would be some type of mandatory marriage class or workshop series that would need to be fulfilled before a license would be issued.
The point is that we have to go above and beyond if we really want a marriage that not only survives- but thrives!! However, in doing this much needed soul-work, we realize that being perfect is a complete delusion and we therefore release that fantasy.
When people discover that I’m a Relationship Expert and Life Coach, they often have a variety of questions about what I do and how I do it. But what happens when an Aussie hipster decides to duplicate the shots… starring himself? They are also sexy in their own way and force us to look at why we’re disturbed by men showing their bodies, the outlines of their most private parts through underwear, their actual nude butt cracks. I agree that “dude” is a pretty common, very general term for boys and men, frequently neutral, but it does have *some* negative connotations. More often it has the connotation of someone who’s simple-minded, not very cultured, or not well-educated. To oppress them, invalidate them, intimidate them, dismiss them, infantilise them, mock them,or otherwise exert power over them? All they’re doing is denying her agency in making her own choice to be in the magazine, which kinda treats her like an object. The first thing I notice is a human, then a female, then I notice it’s Miranda Kerr, then I notice it’s sexy within a split second. A photo cannot tell you everything about a personality, but she can be portrayed as sexual, which is a positive personality trait in how she poses, just as she can pose as strong, pose as an athlete, a model, etc.
Kate Middleton and the invasion of privacy to take photos of her breasts without her consent is objectification, it treats her as an object. People taking pictures without consent are objectifying them (although some degree of acceptance is in many cultures, eg when you’re at an event there is a base level expectation of having your picture taken which makes this more murky). The article of a surfer where it shows her in a sexy way possibly does it too since the article wasn’t about her sex life and should show her riding some waves.


The first moments humans meet each other they would be fitting the idea of objectifying because there is no real way to determine the other persons personality, nor gain consent to look at them in the first moments of seeing them. Also, those reverse quotes are kind of yikes — definitely need to go look up what the hell MK was saying in that original interview. Probably from a shortening of Low German dudendop, dudenkop, dudeldop (“a lazy fellow”), related to Eastern Frisian dudkop, duddekop (“a blockhead or drowsy fellow”), German Dude (“a foolish fellow”), Eastern Frisian dudden (“to be drowsy”). Dom has managed to capture the sexy, wistful expressions, and he is (I’m willing to admit) a really good looking guy.
It’s a photoshoot, focusing on how she looks, every photo designed to provoke sexual lust, in a magazine that is aimed at young men. If she was forced into the role then she’d be an object because her dignity is not taken into account. Humans have this marvelous ability to see a human even when someone is naked and showing sexuality, hell even when I jack off to porn I am watching a woman have sex with a man, not 2 objects, their dignity can still be in tact. If it was say a business outfit photoshoot that was meant to be serious n businessy but was purposely made sexy then it possibly would be considered objectifying. But isn’t using dude as a gender neutral term basically the same thing as using bitch as a gender neutral term? She is currently co-editing a book of essays for boys and young men with author and advocate Jeff Perera.
If anything it makes me feel more comfortable staring at her pictures – women get their eye candy, I get mine, objectification all around, it’s all good. Unless we want to support that stupid idea that a word is off-limits to some people but not others….
She is not an object, she is a human sharing sexuality and getting paid damn well to do so. If they wanted to talk about objectification, there are plenty of images like the woman as a coffee table image, or the Princesses invasion of privacy breast photos. Paparazi for instance objectify their subjects allll the time, but models who willingly pose and approve the photos being used purposely in a sexual magazine aren’t being objectified. Sexuality IS a personality trait, Miranda IS showing off her personality and talking about it. At times though it seems the term sexual objectification is thrown around as another word for sexy, erotic, porn.
Marriage is probably one of the biggest milestones in a person’s life and if we took pause to improve ourselves maybe we would have less divorce and be better parents.
At the same time, we live in a culture that treats male sexuality as disgusting, threatening, or just plain stupid.
If the reappropriated quotes are any indication, then the interview was focused around her sex life too. I use it equally as an address for men and women and always as something friendly, a term of endearment. Women willingly displaying themselves as sexual adults does not objectify them unless the viewer is messed up in the head.



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